Why did I create the

Voice of the Provocateur

To those who care enough to read this

I have lived through 25 years feeling like something was wrong as if a deep void remained within me. I carried the constant weight of that void throughout my life, despite the good times, falling in love, amazing conversations, and pursuing the prospects I longed or dreamed for. No matter what, the void was always there.

In addition with a lifetime of internal struggles, I recently came to terms with living with a form of Autism and/or ADHD something I was either born with or developed at a young age. I had always struggled to adapt to society correctly, which often left me feeling isolated. Even growing up with a family, I often felt alone. If I was fortunate enough to blend into society for a moment eventually, I was seen as an “abnormality” by people who had hate or disdain in their hearts, simply for being different. People knowing this detail about me used to cut me like shards of glass through my body. But now, I see it as a unique part of my life, something I can embrace like a gift from God.

Through embracing this, along with meditation, physical conditioning, mindset shifts, faith, philosophy, meaningful relationships, and countless debates, a new feeling grew in me the need to do something real with my life. I don’t mean chasing money in a career I may love or hate, but rather confronting that hate, division, and corruption that has spread like a virus in the city where I grew up, in the county I’ve always called home, in the state I’ve come to dislike now California, in the country I love, and in the world where all humans reside.

As a human being and first-generation American Afghan, it truly breaks my heart to see our communities fractured by a lack of unity. We have become so divided that instead of healing the wounds that damage our world, we perpetuate the chaos. We fail to make sense of the situations before us and in many ways, its parallel how some people treated me when I was younger.

Through challenges and encouragement from people and peers, I learned that I would rather die trying to make a difference in the world than live a life of complacency, doing nothing to help which would be worse than letting it all fall apart. I now want to bring awareness to those who are not weak but have yet to discover their strength, the strength hidden from the evil of this world that has done its best to conceal. Regardless of your allegiance, beliefs, gender, religion, status, or orientation, none of us are truly alone. It takes great courage to show the vulnerable side of being human. However dark it may seem, there is undeniable truth and strength in knowing you are not alone.

This is why I created Voice of the Provocateur.

Where I hope to do some good with this one.